I was IN!

I was going for the last interview to be in the trial, speaking to a doctor who I hadn’t talked with before. After that, sign the release for the OIT clinical study and schedule the first appointment.

First, she described the goals of the research in detail, what they would be studying, how and why. An important ‘arm’ of this study was research on EoE that involved endoscopic sampling through the course of the OIT trial, and as a matter of fact they had an opening the next day at the hospital for an endoscopy. I checked my calendar and made that appointment on the spot.  Be there 630, have someone to drive you home around 9. I called my wife and made her cancel her morning clients.

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Clinical Trial Acceptance Testing

Interview

The interview was pretty much a recap of the written application and establishing rapport with the clinic. I only lied on one question, otherwise, completely honest.  After the interview and signing the release forms for admittance testing the first step is confirmation the allergy is real. This is done with a skin test. They applied six allergens to my skin and waited.

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Work Life Balance

I was working hard and doing well the first 5 years at my last job. I had three beautiful daughters, and in my free time enjoyed working with my hands. I enjoyed building things. I enjoyed creating. I fixed things around the house and when I went to cocktail parties all the other men there would pull me aside and tell me that I’m making them look bad. But something was missing. I needed something for me. Something more social.

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I have this jigsaw puzzle inside my head

Every morning I wake up with a new found realization.  This has been going on for years; it’s about what’s inside my head but until now I haven’t written about it.  This morning it was several little epiphanies. (and a few big ones).  Here are the little ones:

  1. Others have described it as the little boxes theory, it’s not boxes, its a jigsaw puzzle
  2. I wasn’t anxious about losing my job, I was anxious about the thought of being forced out of the safe bubble that I had taken 11 years to build at my previous employer.  Ironically, it became a self fulfilling prophecy. The anxiety consumed me, I couldn’t do my job, they fired me because I wasn’t doing my job. I would have fired me too. I don’t blame them (anymore), and I’ve given up the thought of going back, because I no longer need to.
  3. blogging is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle

That’s all the time I have today…

© MICHAEL G SPORER AND LIVING WITH PEANUT ANAPHYLAXIS:ADULT VERSION, 2015

I am not a liar, but …

“Fluid replenishment or Hypotension?”

This was a criteria for exclusion from the clinical study. Geeze, that was almost 30 years ago, and at the time, I didn’t remember it in completely vivid detail. OK, yes, they gave me an IV, sure, but do I remember why?  The memory can do funny things, especially when there is emotional trauma involved.

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